Black Funerals Are Horrible

I’ve always agreed with my husband that we don’t want a pastor. Just do a quick memorial service and cremate us.

Now that I’m on the other side, I see even more how draining it is to lose a close relative. The undertakers, the policies people had on your loved one that they went to claim from and want the death certificate for, the choosing of coffins and ‘packages.’ Do you want a fleet of undertaker cars to transport the bereaved coming in from out of town?

The muffins and scones and drinks you have to give the people coming in to bring condolences… The tent for the cooks, the tent for the ones who won’t fit into the house, the people coming in and out from all congregations that heard the news. Preparing bedding and beds for non-local relatives. Hiring chairs for the church congregations coming to do services before the funeral. Hiring chairs FOR the funeral. Hiring large gas stoves and pots to cook for the funeral goers. Buying the food for the funeral goers. Buying plates (we are doing disposable) for the funeral goers. Paying for funeral programmes, buses to transport people from the church to the cemetery. And if we didn’t live within walking distance of the church the service will be at, we’d need the bus to transport people from the home were the first part of the service will be, then to the church, then to the cemetery. Getting drinks for the day of the funeral… Hiring toilets…

Why didn’t anybody warn me!?

Just do what my husband’s Muslim colleague’s community do. All the ladies in the community who know, get together with their own pots and ingredients and help cook for the funeral. And because the burial is ASAP, there aren’t days and days in which to feed people coming to condole the family.

It is extremely unfair that the grieving family is expected to pay so much for extras. I’m going to put in my will that my burial must be asap and no people bothering my children. My poor dad is hardly resting because he feels he must entertain all the people coming in and out the house. We are using so much electricity boiling kettles to make tea for people…

If this is what it means to be Black, count me out.

I’m an honorary White.😫