This close -and my funny baby

I came‘this close’ to crying in front of a plumber just now.

AS is a disease of pain. But you get flares where it’s like the whole world’s pain descends on you. That’s today. After a hellish night where it felt like I sweated all night and was therefore made cold when my nightie cooled down, only to get hot and sweaty again, I woke up to a morning of hell.

I do think the NSAID is helping. My elbow and peripheral joints haven’t been as bad. THEY haven’t kept me awake. But good lord, my hips and SI joints are screaming and yelling and screeching in pain. I ended up sending the behavioural optometrist a run down of things my poor angels are struggling with and how I’m therefore breaking their exercises down into smaller steps, and telling her how the exercises are hard on ME too. I can’t bend over and push and pull. It hurts. Kneeling to push and pull (a variation that has to be done on tiles to make them slide up and down) also is a killer. I explained that I have AS and it’s currently not under control. (To put it mildly.)

I gave the children their school work and went to my room and while asking a friend about their sibling, couldn’t take it anymore and wept, asking her to pray right at that moment. It’s not only the bone pain, but something the gynae did to me in order to test something. It’s a cluster duck (heh heh) of pain.

So, the plumber wanted to see me just as I was at my worst point, where I was in so much pain that I couldn’t hide it. So I hobbled off the bed, wiping tears away and hoped I could manage. He could obviously see the pain as he apologised for asking for me.

What about my “funny baby?”

We have a plan. When she doesn’t see me, Twin B is fine. She keeps herself busy and does her own thing. But if she thinks to come open my door or sees me, then it’s game over. I can’t finish my ironing or sweeping or whatever it is I’m doing in peace. She will grab my hand and take me to my closet and want me to pull things down for her. Some of which are markers that she will carry around after removing their lids. Yes, you can imagine the mess. So I try avoid that.

This time, she spotted a box their combined birthday gifts came in, and wanted it. So for the sake of peace, I brought it down. She removed some bath soap that was given, and because of the shape, thought it was toothpaste. She took me back to the kitchen and wanted me to bring her toothbrush down. (That’s how I knew she thought it was toothpaste.)

I took her back to my room, with her protesting all the way. I told her we’d wash her hands. She shouted in anger, “Wash!” And cried even more. But I took her anyway.

I picked her up and sat her on the side of the sink as she cried, turned on the tap, put the soap on her hand and boom, tears all gone! She was so happy! Totally in her element. I ended up having to put the hand towel over her lap as she was now wetting her skirt and leggings. Then she started splashing her face and ‘washing’ it. It was too cute! So much for those initial tears!❤️She also tried to drink the water by sucking at her fingers.

Eventually, we were both done and both happy. And she stayed happy for the next hour❤️