CRRAAACCCKKK!

I was walking in the kitchen as my husband cooked, and something in my groin cracked loudly and I almost lost my balance as my leg painfully gave way. I screamed. Then laughed. (Don’t go to the kitchen when you’re not eating because you’re doing colon prep for colonoscopy! The smells will kill your.)

See, just a few minutes before, he’d told me that I was obviously having a very bad passion day because I was making a lot of noise. Groaning to pick things up off the floor, moaning when bending, breathing hard and loud. I hadn’t noticed. But he was right. Because two of my pain tablets contain codeine (causes constipation) I decided not to take them to help the colon cleaning mess do their job. I don’t want to go through this prep again any time soon! Especially having been told not to take any pain meds at all today/this morning. (They want my colon etc as empty as possible so they can see everything clearly. I’ll also be having biopsies done-as always-which are so painful AFTERWARDS!)

In the middle of the night, as I sat up supporting myself with my right hand as I got up, my shoulder cracked so loudly it woke my husband up. As I sat down on the loo, CRRACK from my pelvic area. My shoulders have also been cracking when I’m doing lat pull downs too… Given my reduced shoulder mobility and how I started getting worse each time I had cracking and pain (Like back in 2021), this is not welcome at all.

Everything is hard. I’m meant to do 30 seconds of these, three times.

When I began in August, I could do two 30 second holds and a few seconds of the last set. I can’t even complete one set of 30 anymore. And I can’t go up as high.

I mentioned how bad this was back then, I didn’t know it would get worse this fast. My back pulls me down. It’s unwilling to bend. It’s as if the whole weight of my body, like gravity itself, is working against me and I can’t breathe and end up collapsing.

It’s scary.

Watching your body give up on you is indescribable. Feeling it get worse is horrific. The pain is unbearable. I can’t wait to at least start trying to find something to slow this down. Right now, my pre-filled syringes are accumulating in my fridge. I need them in my body.

Did I tell you how the pharmacist reacted as she added up my total when I went to fetch my injections and the prep for today’s Tess? She knows me well as I always collect from that branch, “Mrs Nkomo!??? No! This is not right. I’d hate to be you!” Yeah, I hate being me too sometimes! As my husband put it, “Don’t worry about the cost of six children. Your health is costing us more than all of them combined.”

Ouch. That’s including their therapies and meds.

Yeah, being a burden and a financial cost was never on my agenda. Being the cause of worry was never my plan. Disability was not one of my goals. But unless we slow this freight train down, that’s exactly where I’m headed.

And guys, I really, really am not enjoying this prep thing. No sleep! It was actually my bladder working over time in the night because of the amount of liquid they want you to drink. Only a few times did I empty my bowel. Only NOW is that really happening…And I really, really should not have booked today’s procedures to be done less than a week after surgery. But it could be worse! I could be living in my first home as a child, where the toilet was out in the back yard. I guess I’d be using a bucket and waiting for day light to go empty it. Yuck! It could be worse.😉