Faking Illness -Pee Mentioned

I’ve had some pretty weird people in my life. People who think that being sick is cool, and therefore lie and claim conditions I have. No offense, but if we’ve gotten to know each other and you only mention a problem AFTER I’ve told you I have it, I become pretty suspicious. One person told me they too had chronic iron deficiency anemia. She had also claimed to have IBS so my ‘suspicion-meter’ was already high when I asked her hope she was diagnosed with it. (I’d had anemia since childhood and dietary changes and oral supplements weren’t raising my iron levels. I needed iron infusions and transfusions.) She said she knew she was anemic because after she ate a handful of raisins, she felt better…Raisins have iron. Ergo, the fact that she felt less dizzy after having a handful of iron was proof.

That’s not how chronic iron deficiency anemia works.

On the other hand, I understate my problems. But also, I am so used to pain that something will only grab my attention if it’s extreme. Thats how I ignored the pain from the suturing needle the surgeon left inside me- my bone pain was worse and I figured it was pain from being cut multiple times. I thought I would just have to suck it up.

So there I was, feeling stupid for telling the GP that my urine stream is going in the wrong direction and I’m struggling to urinate. And then I felt guilty for being asked to produce a urine sample and taking ages to do so. I even apologised to the nurse who had been waiting to test it. I hate inconveniencing people…

I know I’m never wrong. I know that when I need surgery, I really do need it. I know that after my hand/wrist op, the surgeon told me things were worse than expected when they went in and I “really needed” the surgery. But still, I surprise myself – and my cousin who’s a nurse who is obviously more in tune with this kind of stuff so also found it as crazy as I did when I shared the photo.

This is the fluoroscopy of my urethra. That is the tube through which my urine had to pass. Maybe you’re also into medical things like my cousin and I. We are both kinda in shock. I DEFINITELY needed not only the polyp removed, but the dilation (making it wider.) NOW I see with my own eyes why I was struggling. Why I once posted that I fear I’ll not be able to use the loo and will have to go to hospital to be catheterised.

I wasn’t exaggerating. It was real. The struggle was real. *insert sad laugh at the bad pun *

I don’t know how this happens. I don’t know if there’s a trigger. I do know that the urologist said it’s very likely it will happen again.

I’m in awe. How did I ‘survive’ as long as I did before seeking help? No wonder it felt like I wasn’t emptying my bladder… I can’t have been. Those last few squeezes didn’t have enough force to pass through. I was in trouble. I really was.

And just like the wrist tendinitis, it was worse than expected.

I’m glad I can prove some of these things. I worry about being perceived as one of those liars. I don’t want to be someone whose veracity is doubted- I’ve had enough of that in real life by some doctors. I also don’t want to be seen as a hypochondriac, magnifying minor issues. I am thankful that I can prove that I am the person I claim to be. Honest. Real. Not complaining, but not holding the truth back.

Chronically yours – disease and weird conditions reporting operation after operation…That’s my life of pain.. and of triumph despite pain.