Send Your Adoptees Back

First, it was my mother telling me to send my son back to social workers so we could get a “normal” child. He’s not an appliance, he’s our baby! But it could have given me a glimpse of her thinking. If she could think a child is easily discardable just because they have special needs, no wonder I was termed a “waste” because I homeschool my children. I too was worthless because I wasn’t contributing financially. Just like my son never will.

This weekend, someone asked if my health issues that keep getting worse aren’t being exacerbated or triggered by my emotions that are under strain due to the heavy load I’m bearing- caring for all the children who have hectic needs and draw from me from wells running on empty.

My first thought was, “Seriously!?? Do you know how many of us spondees, Ankylosing patients, have other health problems? Many of us have gut issues, increasing pain, and I’ve seen recent posts where lungs are also dying like mine are. And these people don’t even have six TYPICAL children, let alone my angels with all their complexities!”

I’ve seen 37 year old mom of only one child already bent over. And she didn’t have any other health problem except that. Except AS. I’m 43 and still upright and able to move my neck. It could be worse!

My second thought was, “If for some weird reason, my children were the cause of my health issues, what would she propose?” It’s not like she’s close by and offering to babysit. She’s in a whole other country. So what then? Would she suggest- like an ex friend of mine- that I give some children away?

Yes, I had a young person suggest I give my adoptees away as my husband wasn’t really being a hands on dad like her husband is. She thought he might be hating being an adoptive dad.

Believe me, I’d get back from church and he’d nap and I’d be the one hands on even with our first biological children. My toddler son would smash his dad on the head with a plastic cube- noisy and rattling, and dad would remain fast asleep. Not all dads have received the “Give your poor wife a break on weekends and Mondays and after work!” memo like her husband has. And it’s not just dads of adopted children.

So I will be clear. I am sick because the devil has brought suffering to this world. Yes, I’d love to rest more. But my lack of rest is not what has caused scarring in my lungs.

My children are here to stay. The only thing I do agree with is that I’m not able to rest much. But none of my angels are causing my body to disintegrate.😅And I’d love it if those suggestions stopped. They reveal a lot about people’s hearts. And I spend a lot of time lamenting our church’s fallen state as it is! I don’t need more evidence of cold hearts.