A Big No

Above is my newest bottle of Rinvoq tablets and my recent exercise purchase. For inner thigh and ski movement. God has given me many “No” answers since 2012. And one recent “No” was about my health when I go see the rheumatologist. I’d told my friend that I prayed I’d not have an infection when I see her, so we know for sure how the Rinvoq is working out. Instead, I couldn’t even answer the Rinvoq nurse properly because of the “No.”

The nurse texted me yesterday to ask if the request by the Dr for more Rinvoq and the approval for the extra funding meant it was working well, I had to tell her that we had no idea. My peripheral joints are better but my back is worrying. And thanks to an infection, we don’t know if the high numbers are because the Rinvoq isn’t working so my body is getting worse, or if it was the infection. We will try in December.

I hate not being able to control this stuff! Bladder and then abscess in my groin. I have masked up faithfully and avoided upper respiratory infections. But these other words random ones the very treatment itself is stopping my immune system from fighting off… No control.

And with that. We’ve come to August 2025 and I still can’t go to church. I still can’t go on outings with the children without suffering later. I still can’t exercise. I still can’t lose weight.

But

I’ve managed to maintain the weight even though the walking and exercise have decreased dramatically. I’ve managed to add more ‘stuff’ to just add in between school and refereeing fights and being dragged around by my non speaker.

Rebounder. Jumping on a springy surface means I don’t hurt myself as much. Though I still can’t do much as jolting my back hurts.

Around my ankles, ankle weights. Also to help boost my virtually nonexistent fitness. Staying steady is good. I’ve seen the ladies desperate for mountjaro and wegovy in my groups. I don’t qualify. I’m not fat enough. I hate the extra 20kg menopause and sickness brought. I laugh at how in 2019 before the twins were conceived, I was hating weighing in the 60’s and was losing weight till they came along.

But I’m thankful it’s not getting WORSE.

I can’t do everything i want to do with my children, but I am enough. Above is my ten year old. And below is my five year old’s thoughts. My son hand wrote a letter that I couldn’t read. I hugged him and thanked him. Poor baby.

I am thankful for the hearts my children have. The middle two found out today that their little sister can recite my telephone number. Something I ended up giving up on with them. Their dyscalculia does not allow them to retain a long line of numbers. But, they were impressed with their little sister for being able to rattle it off! Micaiah even said. “She’s the cleverest sister in my whole world!”😆And his older sister didn’t even get jealous. She was proud of her little sister.❤️

Shabbat shalom guys. I’ve sadly been awake since 22:30 when my ten year old was noisy. It’s now 1:07am. I’m tired and sore and it’s too early to take pain meds.

But…

At least they’re all quiet for now.

Maybe I’ll get a BIG “yes” soon.