Confirmed

My boy’s dysgraphia has improved! You can read what he was trying to write! First time ever that anyone could make it out. I think the dysgraphia curriculum might be helping because just recently in October, even he didn’t know what he had written in the twins’ birthday cards! Obviously, there’s no cure, but they can improve! When she came down for holidays, Eliora spotted that Ammy’s writing has improved since she last saw anything she’d written! Ammy very proudly told me her big sister had told her her writing had improved very proudly.

Also, my boy has struggled with his ADHD and focusing. He hadn’t hit above 90% for any test or quiz, so he will be so chuffed to know what he got!

And it is confirmed. When I was NOT preparing Maths school for the two older kiddies, and not preparing or teaching any formal school for our boy, the pain was less. But now that it’s not only the girls who are doing school as had been the case for a few weeks, now that it’s the full complement of subjects, my body is screaming again much earlier, I am resting much later (alive just finished prepping for tomorrow now at 20:45 while their father is already nicely asleep..and the fatigue is back. Add IBS-C flare and you have a mother who just wants to lie down and rest! I see why the rheumatologist wanted me to stop working, folk! I feel so SAD! I was even able to exercise with the children and not feel it! Until this week.

I have learnt to never ever praise any man ever again. There was a time I thought this one man was such a good HUSBAND because he praised his wife for each baby born to them. Praised her strength even online, spoke of how emotional it was watching their son emerge… I used to wish my husband could be like him. Labour is taxing, and other men also spoke so admiringly of their wives. Never happened for me. But, that same man told me he had been beating his wife and also had been unfaithful for who knows how long, with multiple women including her own sister.😭😩😩I think he knew someone would have told me since when I told a young lady, she said she thought I’d known he was like that as “the whole church knew!” Oops, then I clearly had ever been excluded from being a true member! He had been saying that if we divorce our cheating spouses – she had turned the tables on him and wanted out the marriage and he’d found out about her infidelity the very same day in 2016 I found out about my husband’s- and married each other, he would write a book on how to turn your life around and stop beating your wife and live a pure life and I’d be his fresh start.

🫣

Needless to say, better the devil you know (very intimately!) if you can’t escape your marriage at all.

So, he actually was not worth admiring anyway.

So I’ll just say that I wish my husband would tell people how hard I work and how late into the night I go- for the sake of OUR children.

This is a worksheet for part of Amarissa’s Maths work tomorrow. It’s from the dyscalculia-friendly curriculum. I wish I had someone to boast about all the research I do and effort and time spent researching different curricula for our children’s learning disorders. My friend, and he himself, tell me about the praise they hey from their bosses. Where is my acknowledgment of how I’m killing myself to give my children every chance possible to reach their potential?

Or how about how the children are on different curricula completely, depending on who has which challenges? Surely it’s noteworthy that you have no clue what’s out there but here it is, in your home, prepared for your children? Planning taking place at night because during the day, motherhood and teaching were happening?

For this one in the photo above, the manual has many questions and he must choose the correct one from his flash cards. He can read these words perfectly. But I love the executive function aspect of the task so I included it for tomorrow but with only five clue sentences or hints. Where are the eyes to see that? Where are the hands to rub my extremely painful back?

I gave a lot. I would send loving texts, naughty texts, and prayerful texts. I even taught another church lady to be naughty and she embarrassed her husband once by sending one while their son was there and the dad turned red-if he could have, given he was black. 🙂The one I used to pray for once even told church that when met with a challenge and then suddenly able to figure a way out, he knew it was because I had just prayed for him.

But he has no clue what my difficulties are and there have been no accolades, rewards, versions of Boss’s Day gifts… No “I value you.” Just pain. And as I lay with my body wracked in agony, the emotional neglect hurts even more than when I’m not in as much pain. I am dying..and it’s not even appreciated. Yet it’s for OUR children, not mine.

The truth is ugly. The truth is painful. The truth will help people see how you can bow under continued strain, but don’t have to buckle under it and crawl on your belly like the one who treats you like you’re horse dung. Through Christ.