Autism with no ability to communicate comes from the devil himself.
Today we are back to extremely prolonged screaming and no idea why. Bowel moving perfectly.
I hate , hate, HATE this. I am also TIRED of it. Just once I’d like to eat a meal when it’s warm instead of having to wait till ten pm when everyone is asleep and no screaming, crying, fighting will interrupt multiple times or worry.
I hate, hate, HATE my life. The negative parts are too negative and incurable.
Today, she grabbed me by the waist and tried to swing me around because she wanted all the crackers. How will I survive when she’s bigger?
The other reason I hate my ‘life?‘
I asked the only lawyer who has replied, if there’s any chance I could pay by card but their office doesn’t have a card machine.
Trapped by disorders and by evil adulterers.
If I was suicidal, today would be the day.
They said I should write a book 
to horrible to know you want to help her yet you do not know how. Oh Lord come through for my friend, we really need you.
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It is too too painful! And to have decades of this VERY likely to happen? I feel like I’m failing her. And I wonder if she wonders why I’m not helping her…
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