(Alluded to in a recent video, but different day, slightly different thoughts for my new readers who aren’t on YouTube.)
We are Christian homemakers and homeschool educators. This means, it’s on us. The home, the education- it’s all on us whether we like it or no, whether we think it fair or not.
I write this as a 40 plus year old mother looking back at her 20’s and 30’s. I was like the young mother who contacted me absolutely tired. Not tired as in, her body was exhausted, but tired of the fact that she is always mom. No break. No weekend. Always mom. (Refereeing children who have upset each other, making my sure they are eating, making sure clothes are clean and children bathed.)
Her husband would come home and relax. She’d still be stressing with their two little ones. It took him a long time to agree to cook once a week. But even that was a hollow victory as he took the easy way out and fried or baked burgers and (I think) chips (baked in the enablements.). She wanted him to REALLY cook. To make a well thought out, balanced meal.
But as much as I hate comparing, there are still the men who won’t cook or fry or bake ANY thing. I grew up with a dad who baked and fried and Sunday breakfast was him- either yummy fermented sorghum porridge, with toast and cocoa, or chips and amagwinya aka vetkoek. His baking was always on point so I just assumed all men helped in the home. He worked, he’d sweep, clean what he can, iron his own clothes. I took over ironing his pants when I was about out 14 years old and even then, only for a short time or when we didn’t have a helper. But there are men who won’t even fry a burger. Sad. Very sad. And not Christlike at all.
But anyway, I did rail at how unfair it was back in the easier times when I only had two children. When I wasn’t a mom and had a normal job, my time at home was relaxed. Now? Not so much. Today is a public holiday. I lay there in agony not wanting to wake Mr I’m on Holiday by opening my pain tablets. I tried not to even shuffle around to find a comfy position. No holiday from disease either, for this mom.
We did work as a team in the morning, with him washing some dishes while I made the children’s lunch, and then it was the Sunday Usual, “I’m going to nap now.”
How many mothers would love to have a nap? I saw lots of people who have Mother’s Days and general days like mine. I’ll leave it there for you to get what I mean. But suffice to say, breakfast in bed..? For us? Never. Napping? Impossible.
So, I rolled up my sleeves and got cracking.
The laundry wouldn’t sort and fold itself, would it? There’s no point in complaining, whining, getting angry. It is what it is. When you signed up to be a Christian homeschool mom, I am pretty sure your husband didn’t promise first that he would ensure you get a break on weekends and holidays. We certainly didn’t agree to it.
This is honestly where you just turn the other cheek, as unpalatable the idea is for many of those raised with feminist ideals. You just do your duty and forgive the one blind to your broken body. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for more equitable treatment for all, but when it doesn’t come, it’s not the end of the world. That’s between your husband and God. And what’s between you and God, is how you will spend the time while he naps.
Will you be angry? Will you bang pots and pans around? Will you let the children run amok in protest?
I know what I will do. I will be a homeschooling mom every hour and minute that I need to be one. I will fold and sort the laundry and tidy up where I can. I will be the one who comes up with ways to keep the children active and busy in non destructive ways.
I will give my best because you see, my reaction is also between me and God. That is the inconvenient truth. GOD is Who my real boss is, not me. What will God see in me when the perceived injustice wants to overwhelm me and I also covet the rest many men get? Will He see me graciously and happily accepting the cup I chose when I chose to be a mother?
Or will he see the devil in me, angrily railing at the world and upset that what I feel I deserve has not been given me?
What did Paul do? Even though he was worthy to receive tithes and offerings, he didn’t. He cheerfully did God’s work for no pay, sacrificing time and health to toil when he did not have to. And so I too will cheerfully do my work. I am laying up my treasure in heaven. Self forgetfulness, sacrificial giving, meekness, turning the other cheek, godliness with contentment? God sees. And that’s Who I live for before I even think of living for myself.
It is tiring. It is lonely. All we can do is give GOD and our children, our best. And God will help us to do so.
They said I should write a book 