Where is He?

Hmm, our girl’s birth father always communicates. He asks how we all are, I ask him where he is and then check if he’s found any work or if he’s still living with his aged mother.

I’m worried. I don’t know why I’m so worried given it’s not been even six months’ silence, but when he has initiated contact, he ALWAYS replies to my reply. But his last message in October elicited a response from me, and he didn’t even read it.

Birth mom said she hasn’t heard about him in over a year when I mentioned the uncharacteristic silence

Yes, he’s not someone I’d want to meet physically. I would never want him to know where we live. But I do want to know if he’s dead. She doesn’t have contact details of his family, and given some allegations and rumours that have been made, and the knowledge I myself have of him being a repeat visitor as an inmate ‘somewhere’… I wouldn’t even dare ask her to find out from family. They broke up and it wasn’t just because they realised they didn’t love each other.

Life won’t give him any chances. Unemployment is high even for educated people with no record. For him…The life he lives, a life that is scary to me, is one that has high risk for him not being alive.

But it is sad. Life handed him a very bad script. He COULD only play the part he has played unless a miracle happened. What else can you do as a male in South Africa with no education, a very poor mother, and close family members who don’t keep the law? And a very poor social benefit system that definitely doesn’t give you money to live on?

I hope he’s ok. Or, I hope he’s at peace. And I hope he has no more victims.

What a complicated world I live in.