Letting Go

Years ago! Nine years ago. My oldest girl carrying our newly arrived son, and their sister touching him in curiosity.❤️

My big girl is wearing a skirt I made. It’s the last full item I sewed. (I did sew a few bib sets thereafter that I sold.) After the making of this skirt, sitting had become so painful that even hemming or repairing hems is a nightmare of pain, though I enjoy the actual doing of it. Knitting and sewing gave me peace.

A few years ago, I bought a sewing machine. I told myself that I’d start sewing again once we figured out what was wrong with me and why I could not sit ( or do anything really) without so much pain. I thought we’d find a cure.

That sewing machine is now gone. I gave it away this year. Never used. Still in the box. I don’t know where this disease (AS) will take me and where Rinvoq ( or whatever else will come enxy) will lead. But I do know that I don’t ever want my house to burn down and have things I could have blessed others with, burning with it. Same thing with clothes. Why keep treasure when others need it? I always give away all good quality pre loved clothing as soon as possible. There are children TODAY who need to be covered up. Not tomorrow. Today!

And thus, I let go of my dreams despite the sewing machine not ever having been preloved. I opened the table cloth packaging. Remember, the table cloth I might have blogged about two years ago that I also bought with hope that I’d one day be able to dish out food and sit down on a chair to eat with my family? Why keep it till a time that might never come to fruition?

I’m letting go of SOME dreams, but until I exhaust ALL treatment avenues, I will still hope I can be the mom I used to be. That’s what my children need, more than my homemade skirts.