Empathy is GOOD!

Imagine if I’d just brushed her complaint aside. I’d feel like a right old dummy, now! A real nincompoop. But, I did put myself in her shoes and so I can gladly say that after today, I’m glad I did understand and also express a verbal rolling of the eyes at how ignorant people can be.

I’d met her some years ago. She’s one who invited me to her shared apartment when I started going to the church nearby. So much better for me so I can actually converse instead of wondering what the children are doing. And I enjoy listening to new people tell me about themselves.

One of the things was her prosthetic leg. She’d been in a terrible vehicle accident and had to have her leg amputated from the knee down. She had a great fake leg and they’d made sure it was as close to her skin colour (Zimbabwean Shona lady a few years younger than me) as possible. She therefore had a disabled badge to hang in her car, and though the leg was very good quality so didn’t hurt much, it did help to park closer to the entrance when the shopping centre is big or when there’s no parking nearby or when she’d been walking for a long time before going to the shop so was starting to feel fatigued.

But, because she could walk so well and tended to wear jeans sometimes, people didn’t always know she was disabled. And so they ‘judged’ her a lot. And thus, I couldn’t relate but I could imagine how exasperating it would be to have to prove yourself to strangers.

And so today, for the third time, it was MY turn to have to prove myself. I went to the hospital to collect my ten year old’s prescriptions and as I left the car in the rain, a security guard came running behind me while another man started shouting, “You can’t park there!” The guard called me and kept gesturing at the car without saying anything, so I too silently looked at him as I flinched in the rain. I wasn’t going to make it easy. It wasn’t his job to confront patients but to check that their cars had the disabled badge visible on their dashboard.

They came together and I told the one older man that not everyone who is disabled is in a wheelchair. I was so angry. It’s cold and rainy and the man I’d hired to do the driving on fine days, doesn’t know how to take public transport to get to work so I had to go up and down while in a flare. And now you’re making me stop in the rain? When I left home it had stopped raining so I hadn’t brought my umbrella nor worn any kind of extra jacket.

I told them both loudly that I don’t need to be in a wheelchair to be classified as disabled and they should check my dashboard. I turned to the black security guard and told him he knows where he should look instead of calling me.

The older man, Coloured guy, lit up a cigarette (SAVE ME!) while saying he understands because he’s got fibromyalgia and sometimes he has bad days. I told him my amputee friend goes through this nonsense and I have Ankylosing spondylitis. He was taken aback, “ Oh! Oh no!”

Oh yes! Leave us alone and check for the disabled badges, man!

I got back home after doing the pick up and straight into the clutches of Ratie who said her infamous word, “ Car..car.” And so back out I went, my trusty son always coming along too. He’s cool man. Despite his constant interruptions to ask what a line means, he is also very flattering. He likes my singing and says so, (Aww, love is deaf) and today I kept telling my girl I love her as I buckled her into her booster seat, and told him, “ I love you too.” To which he replied, “ Aww, you look so cute. When you said that, your cheeks looked so cute.”

Hahahaha.

And so, we reversed as we sang the first song together.

She’s just come back for car ride number three but Violet is trying to hold the fort. 😅I’m even too scared to turn the heater on. I’m scared she’s too close by and will run in and grab me again. She’d come and I told her to go play and then locked my door.

Let’s hope she is. These bones, even my ribs, are crying.

And so, that’s why I’m glad I did get angry at the faceless people my now back in Zim friend had told me about who didn’t want to just keep going about their business but got into HERS uninvited and unnecessarily.

She’s coming back…🤣🙈 Stove on low and out we go..again.