Purposeful Praise

I fear the night. The last time I bothered checking, I had had three hours and 47 minutes of sleep. I fear the night. No position is perfectly comfortable. My bladder is extremely weak so I wake up too often. Lie wrong, my throat closes up and wakes me up too.

I hate the day.

Days are stressful, painful and busy. Busy-ness makes the pain worse. And days are heartbreaking. I was talking to my two oldest girls when I noticed Amarissa putting the end of the hairbrush in her mouth. When she did it a second time, I told her to open her mouth. And there the piece of the comb handle was- in her mouth. Not only are random things chewed, random things are swallowed. I, who hates gum, even bought sugar free gum for her and warned her to throw it away. But as soon as the flavour is gone and she’s bored..back to chewing rubbish. Yes, I’ve tried giving her sensory chews. She loses them within two hours of having received them.

Nothing exciting in the video. Just showing one part of tomorrow’s school preparation as it happened at 8pm.

This matters because I was broken by then. So much pain. My ribs are so painful that there was a time I moved wrong and it felt as if my rib had been pulled off and away from my sternum. It felt like a clicking, graying and splitting of my rib. I did NOT want to be there setting out work, choosing if which subject and what to do for each one. (There are practice books for some of the modules) I was dragging. Wanted to cry. Just so alone and in extreme pain but couldn’t stop.

So what now with all that pain pulsing from neck, ribs, down to the soles of my feet? Praise Him in the storm.

I could find many good things yesterday despite the bad. What good is there today?

A paediatrician who is awesome!

Our regular paediatrician had suggested we move to a medicine called Vyvanse for Ammy if the increased dose of her ‘not working at all’ Amfexa for ADHD didn’t help me nor the behavioural optometrist who also complained that my girl can’t focus. Brings up random unrelated topics instead of thinking of her work, or exercise. I emailed three weeks ago asking to shift. I got a reply from an admin I don’t really trust. She has seemed very cold if you’re brown (there are other brown patients) but very effusive in her greeting when it’s pale people like her. The regular office manager though the same type as her, is very friendly and talkative. The not so nice one just confirmed that my thoughts were correct.

She replied asking what dose Ammy should be on. I replied stating that I had no idea, “but here is the dose of the current medication.” Dr had never discussed what dosage he’d put her on. She then replied that there’s a fill in doctor as the Paed is on leave. No word as to what action would be taken. Our normal paed isn’t proud. He tells me when he’s consulted with psychiatrist’s about my children. I assumed perhaps the silence was because this doctor didn’t know what to do and was consulting.

But then that was it. Silence!

I then sent another email request for a prescription for my other twin angel, Miss Talk a Lot. There was not a single sleep med in the house. For some odd reason, they’d all run out at the same time! Without those sedatives, none of us would sleep even three hours 52 minutes😩. I added the dosage and explained that it was meant to be on a previous prescription but Dr had forgotten to put it on. She phoned me and said I should wait until he’s back the following week. I told her there was no way I’d wait. I needed it that very day.

Then she irritated me. As if doing me a favour yet going to charge me over R250 for writing one prescription, she told me that the fill in doctor would do the sleep med, but I must wait for the other medicine as I must not have many queries and must wait till he’s is back. I hadn’t even brought up the other medicine. I just asked for the sleep med. Why add that command?

Well, the following week came and no reply to my initial request. I then emailed AGAIN on Tuesday last week, asking if the doctor was perhaps still on leave. No answer.

But, I had options. I contacted a different paediatrician (and her admin lady ) who is too far away for me to drive the children to. I emailed them on Thursday night last week asking if THAT paed could help us with the medication. People, she answered that very same NIGHT! I really appreciate it when a doctor has a way for us to reach them directly. No prejudiced or lazy people can get in the way. She replied so CHEERFULLY!! She said of course she would help and she really loves Vyvanse and has used it extensively and she knows it very well!

By Friday morning, as requested by me, they’d sent the prescription to me and to the pharmacy! By ten am, the new medicine had arrived. Not even 24 hours between my request and getting hold of the medicine! We will start low and see how she does this month.

That will be my purposeful praise for today. Gratitude for doctors who love their job, give patients direct access to them, and treat everyone with kindness and dignity.

(I emailed the first Paed over the weekend and told them they’d better not write a script now and charge us!)

The other bonus is that our Ammy who hides her medicine if I forget to check she has fully swallowed it, or tries to drop it down her sleeve like she did with her antidepressant, thinks the new med is “beautiful!” Maybe the beauty will encourage her to swallow and not hide in her stuffed toys like she did last week!

Help came fast. And I am grateful!

Another one? The way the children love nature and beauty. My little son took this photo with his tablet.

My talking five year old took these photos amongst many more.

I love their joy in innocent things. I hope it lasts forever! Like this afternoon during NY ‘calm down time.!’ I sent her to her twin’s room to give her her juice. My girl came out glowing! “Oh thank you! I feel so happy! I gave her a hug! I gave her a kiss! And then I gave her her juice! I’m so thankful you asked me to go to her!”