The Dark Side

I’ve been having some deep conversations with my girl’s birth sister. She’s the same age as my firstborn but wiser and more mature. I also bet that caring for your mother and sister and own little one will make you grow up quickly.🥹 I was telling her about how manipulative and sneaky our girl can be. The shoplifting, the constantly telling on a sibling when actually, SHE was either the mastermind between them all, or she did it herself. The copying of the little girl who had encephalitis, leading her to being admitted to hospital and getting tested for no reason because she was faking the hallucinations and headaches she claimed to be having.

Now we have the cutting. Also copied. But it gives her extra attention. And as her big sister noted, she already gets MORE THAN ENOUGH love, attention and way more “ No beating” like she’d get in a typical Black family. So why the need for extra attention? She does it with the cutting, a true self harmer doesn’t tell everyone in the family what they’ve been doing! A true cutter doesn’t proudly show their wounds.

And so, when we met with the paediatrician, we had a long talk about how she needs a neuropsychologist to get a proper assessment as her manipulative behaviour is not normal. And I remember a friend and I commenting on how young she was to be thinking so sneakily. She’s older and it’s worse.

Just now, we were discussing the Alphablocks episode I’d downloaded for them which they were watching. She was telling us that at first, she hated the whole concept and didn’t understand. She said she hated it so much what she came to me and told me that they say ‘bad’ words so that I don’t download any more videos.

That is sad! It has helped Twin A with the already great spelling and why not just not watch it then, instead of making it so none of the others could watch? How did she think that up?

Why?

I am so glad I didn’t believe her after a while and made time to watch for myself. But it’s things you can never get evidence of. Or you have to take someone else’s word. You don’t automatically jump to, “She is lying.”

My girl is dangerous. And she’s only ten years old. What will she plot and plan as she gets older?

Yet, as her sister and I said, she is so sweet too! She has redeeming qualities in abundance! But the other actions just make your heart sink. Telling her to throw her pull up away and she innocently says she did, only for her oldest sister to find it in their wardrobe. Or Vi finds it under the bed.

After watching Ms Faith yesterday, today after breakfast, she decided to copy what she saw. Slice of apple with peanut butter to help grapes stick to it. “A Mickey healthy snack” as Twin A exclaimed.