She’s Alone!

I’m so proud of her!

We brought our oldest back because he was messing around a LOT instead of studying. Which meant, my girl was left alone in a house in a complex! (Gauteng house prices are so much better than Cape Town!) People told me she should get a housemate or two but I’ve been there before. Strangers don’t always treat your house well. We once rented our home out when their dad got a job in Stellenbosch. She seemed a decent woman (with two decent school aged sons) who was leaving her cheating husband. But then she decided to reconcile. (I hope she doesn’t regret that now. This was in 2013) and left and went back to him. And oh my word, left a MESS! It’s like they’d poured cereal, crisp crumbs, out into the cupboards, they’d broken even toilet paper holders, empty boxes, mess, mess and part of a bathroom mirror also broken. That was reason number 1.

Secondly, the person would be an adult. You can’t stop adults from doing adult things. Unless you are brave enough to write, “No loud intercourse allowed” – something I suffered from with one of the girls in my residence-day and night. And that was my major concern. What if the person makes noise or is a disturbance?

But thirdly, my girl did not want anyone else anyway. So, she has been living ALONE! That’s actually crazy for me. Alone in a totally different province. She asks me about coolant and things like that for the car, and that brings us to the car.

She is alone and has access to a car! When I was in high school, I believe I shared before that there were maybe three girls that had their ‘own’ cars. It was soooo cool. And in university, there were maybe five out of 24 speech therapy and audiology students who had cars. None were African origin. Thankfully they somehow liked me so I always got a lift to our hospital practicals.

The first car we got was in the UK. Cars were very easy to get! We worked in a warehouse setting but could afford a lovely one bed flat and a not too old car and a proper diet. On warehouse wages! Never possible in SA. And when we came back, my mother got us our first SA car because she felt it was beneath us to be using public transport while job hunting. It was old but working ok minus lights we had to keep fixing.

Our first REAL African car was probably two years after marriage so I was probably 25. No, I think it was three years so I was 26. But I always felt sad that I didn’t have a car to give OTHERS lifts when I was a student.

And now here we are. My girl is friends with a bunch of girls who also live alone, also mostly in gated secure complexes. It’s so foreign to me! I’m sure it’s the norm for many others. But not for me! When I was in first year, everyone either rented student accommodation or lived in university res or lived with their parents. None in my class lived alone in a private house.

I’m proud of my shy, anxious girl. She’d been nervous that people would stare at her as she washed the car. But she still did it. And shared the fruits of her labour with me.🥰❤️

Here’s to learning how to work hard, take good care of your possessions, and pour coolant with men driving slowly past who act shocked you have your bonnet open and are doing something in the engine YOURSELF.😎

This level of independence will really help set her up when she has a job wherever in the country and is living..alone. She’s done it! This was a girl who needed the light on in her bedroom then negotiated to it being on in the corridor even into her teens sometimes keeping her lamp on all night, she was that scared of the dark and there were lots of us at home. I am truly proud of her for overcoming her anxieties and fears. I hope this last set of exams this year will bring great results and that her spirituality grows.❤️🙏🏾

Proud mom. She’d worked hard to help me when she was on holiday and she’s working hard away too.