The Assignment

I’ve taken myself of YT for my homeschool life and special needs aspects so now you’ll be hearing a lot more of my life as a mother and special needs caregiver and distance mom of my first daughter. Brace yourselves!

A week or so ago, my girl sent me a screenshot of their planned out ‘work meeting’ for a Business English assignment. Now let me tell you the backstory because this is the positive side of my heart that I hope she inherited from me. (Always thinking of the outlier. And my closest friend in my first junior school was also a Muslim girl!) They had to work as a group and set up a work type meeting using Business English aka business jargon. They all agreed on a certain time. I think it was 7pm. But then secretly, the Muslim girl texted my girl to tell her she’d been shy to say anything, but 7pm was her prayer time. She assumed they’d not care about that. My girl assured her that she’d speak to the rest of the group and they – contrary to what she feared- WOULD adjust the time to suit her. And they did.

So I already had a bit of a proud mom feeling about that assignment. My girl is a safe person for the Muslim girl. Then late one night, my girl sent me the screenshot of their ‘meeting,’ saying how they’d gone way over time and it was due the next day and that they were nervous they’d not be able to pare it down enough.

She video called me today. I thought there was a big problem because WE usually call HER. And she hadn’t even asked if I was available. I answered with great trepidation. Only for her to show me this.

My girl was SOOOOO proud of herself and her group! She couldn’t hold it in! 🥰🥰🥰😍😍She’s had some terrible group project members so this one was already off to a good start as they are all friends, though they tend to bunk lectures and she attends every single one. Their efforts were rewarded!

Then I thought of earlier in the month, how disappointed she’d been about the mark she/they received for a different assignment for a subject she has struggled with terribly. She was truly distressed about her 63%. The way she introduced it, I thought she’d gotten 45%! The level of disappointment didn’t match the mark at all.

So I started creating a post around that. I wondered if her dissatisfaction with a good pass for a very difficult subject was from our homeschool years. Back then, in the earlier years, before we moved onto the next grade level, I needed them to get 70% minimum. That was MY pass mark. Forget the governments 30’s and 40’s. Then as they got older, I made it 60%. I truly wanted to know they have a proper grasp of the work before moving forward. I wondered if it was her own hang ups causing her to be so unhappy about a respectable 63%, or if I caused it. I tried my best to show her that that was a huge improvement and all we need is for her to move into second year. A specific mark for one subject that she will never study again isn’t the end of the world when it’s a very clear PASS! As I thought about the wording for the post, she sent this text message.

Exactly this! Even in our high school years, Physics. a subject that she’d truly struggled with was not good enough at 78%! It was funny that as I was analysing her reaction to her marks, she also was!

It’s just the beginning of her degree. Things will get harder. I really hope she keeps getting the marks she’s working for. If not, I’ll be her safe space.

And I had better enjoy the communication. If she gets a boyfriend, she might forget me and share her highs with him. So I will saviour every text, audio note and video call. ❤️

Mothers used to ask if it didn’t lots of disciple to be a home educator, didn’t it make me lazy and not want to teach on some days? Nope. Never. The only time I’ve not been disciplined enough to do what I planned was when I’m extremely unwell thanks to AS or any other sickness. That’s the only time I’ve had a “I don’t feel like it” moment. Or after surgery. Then I’m kinda.. NOT in the mood.

I love it. I love teaching. Just wish my body did too. As I celebrate my girl who is no longer being taught by me, I hope the rest will reach their personal potentials. Then I’ll feel like I finished my race.

Before I finish, what about my current pupils? I will add that my now six year Twin A came in telling me her left hand vs right hand. Correctly. Sadly, it actually felt miraculous because by age ten, her other two siblings still couldn’t tell you-thanks a lot, dyscalculia.😏

I asked if she thought she’d be able to remember it correctly forever. She said, “Of course!

I’ll remember it even

When

I’m

Seven tests old!“

Yep, that year between now and then is indeed the equivalent of “forever.”😎

One last thing. I am tired and in pain! Sadly, not much worse than when on Rinvoq so I don’t know if it’s helping much at all. Which as you might recall, was the question the rheumatoid and I had given my ‘never been this high’ numbers from my blood test results. Add surgery and hair tightening day which means my butt and my shoulders and arms and ribs become more sore, and you’ve got a miserable mommy standing at the laminator preparing for dysgraphia class for tomorrow.

In comes my children’s father, asking where our second son’s anti psychotic pills are. I wanted to cry. Is this the weaponised incompetence people talk about? There’s only one place their medication stays while waiting for me to put it in their weekly pill boxes. Why me?? Why not just look where they have always been?

I was really grumpy now, guys. It’s past 7pm, my body is so tired from AS and lack of sleep that I’m walking in a daze. I go collect the tablets and my boy appears next to me. He hugs me and tells me,

“It’s so nice when you are here.”

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.

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What more can one say? We do this for them. We suffer for THEIR sake. And they reward us with love (and pouting but we don’t go there.) when we aren’t expecting it.

I hope I will still be here “forever” so I can make him feel happy . A forever longer than N’s year, 😊

For those whose working week hasn’t begun yet, have a good one. May things go as smoothly as they can.