Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong🎤

Am I in pain in my hips and lower back because I exercised too much? Or is it because I really do have Sjogren’s? I emailed the rheumatologist yesterday because of how severe the symptoms have become. I noted all the symptoms I shared here, including how when I eat, I feel full way too soon and I get abdominal pain, and told her I was emailing because I had been trying to breathe in to do one of the AS exercises she’d recommended that tries to keep your ribs from fusing so you can’t breathe well, but the throat pain was unbearable while trying to breathe in. This dryness is now too extreme and my bone pain is increasing – which happens with Sjögren’s too as it impacts joints. How fun. Just when we get a treatment working to slow AS down, something else pops up.🥹

And just a few minutes after I sent my desperate email to the rheumatologist, my friend asked me how I was doing. When you’re used to constant pain, don’t feel like the world revolves around you, you constantly ask what state your loved one is in. Within the span of a day we check on each other twice. Wanting to know how the day began, and it has unfolded. Asking about triggers that could have increased pain ( my method) and her asking straight out how the day went.

And it is GOOD.🥹You know I have even had to take myself to the Emergency room at least twice that I can recall. And was bad enough to need actual treatment each time. He refused to take me and never checked how I was. He never checks how I am. One time I was trying to life up a container of water I’d been using to try deal with the foot pain, but bending is a killer, and lifting it up made some water spill and it was HEAVY. He stood right there in the room and didn’t offer to help. Another time, when my hot water bottle burst and I had to take the entire bedding off, again, no offer to help even though he knows doing bedding hurts my shoulders and back. I was on my own, in horrible pain as it had been in the evening when AS pain builds into a crescendo.

I could go on and on about the emotional and physical neglect I’ve had but you see, it makes both of us even more appreciative when we get the opposite. Just a simple thing like her telling me she liked a dress I was wearing in a video. Her telling me I’m beautiful. Her thanking me for the work I’m trying to do on YouTube to prevent even just one more girl trapping herself in our situation🥹And she has the same reaction when I praise her. It’s so rare it makes you emotional. I used to state on my status how kindness always makes me cry. It’s being cared for when the one who had vowed to care for you, only cares about himself. It’s the loneliness and pain of having an adult who doesn’t care, doesn’t see you yet you poured yourself into them and you see them caring about others.

Life is beautiful when we love from the heart. I posted a video yesterday on how my church is supporting me since revealing to them what my husband has been doing since 2022 and is cheerfully continuing to do. I didn’t mention the one lady I thought of as a friend. We’d both shared how neglectful our husbands are over the years. How they never ask how our appointments have gone… I told her I’d just discovered my husband has been unfaithful again. Her reply? “I’m sorry, sis.”

Then she acted as if I’d said nothing thereafter, messages came of, “How is everyone?” Or “How is the family?” The usual messages she sent asking how we are. But there is no family , there’s a man living his life, a single mother. And I hate that she doesn’t see that. I know she didn’t marry for love, but surely even so, you’d respond with better, more empathy?? So I told only a few directly after that. People I knew would be safe. And they haven’t disappointed. One is one l mention in the video.

So, as I wait for a way forward regarding the body that’s dried up and is in pain, I look back at the terrible night. Eye pain woke me at 2am and kept me up for three hours after I put eyedrops in. Throat pain too remained and I started wondering if it’s not the dryness but the children’s awful virus they’re battling because it began with a sore throat. And after making my trek to the toilet, the bone pain hit hard.

But I went through that with a sister who is in a different time zone. And no, never minimise your pain. I already know you care and see me! And that’s what I love. The way love reciprocated. That is good enough. I checking on you and you checking on me already shows me you see me! But I will say that it is noted because so many complain about two weeks of something I live with daily and act like they don’t KNOW I live with it daily and there’s no cure for mineZ I appreciate every word, even the unnecessary ones. But it sounds self deprecating. And she already has THAT in her husband already.

So, to the readers what does it mean for you? What can YOU do?

Please, I beg. Find your friends whose spouses are neglecting them and pour love into them intentionally. You will go far into healing wounds and showing them how God sees them.

And this is your random modest workout outfit photo, and my children’s sun protection modest swimwear.

Guess what I did! The AS exercises are to try reduce stiffness, try stop your bones fusing in a hunch back position, try stop neck from fusing in a curved position, to stop your living with ribs closed as already mentioned, and building muscle to undo how AS causes muscle atrophy and to help support our dying skeletons better. One is a glute bridge. I added weight to it. I feel sooo rich.😆

And random!

Take care!