Little Things!

Everywhere I turn, in my hope to be free of the adulterer, in an attempt to stem the flow of money he’s spending -like R2000 a NIGHT, on his Japanese holiday, I come to a dead end financially. Impossible costs. So now what?

I will thank God for two little things today. One, is perspective. I am unable to articulate how anxious and stressed I am as soon as it’s morning and how that lasts all day. From 4am, I know that any time, one or more of my children will come and begin the day. When do I then study!? I know that my intellectually disabled daughter will pull me when I’m meant to be teaching, I know she will want the impossible, I know the others will fight and argue and constantly come to me no matter how busy I keep them. And that knowing, the lack of rest…I can only relax after ten pm. THEN I know they are asleep. But I don’t know when they’ll wake up in the night and come.

But, my 11 year old enjoys the very one who is most challenging. From HER perspective, she is blessed to have my most stressful, physically demanding, most heartbreaking daughter as her sister.

I mean, she does make me laugh. Like when she ignores everything I’ve dished out but then eats the very same thing from the pot or big bowl it was served from; a serving spoon, like here where for the first and last time for now, she was actually eating soup! She didn’t have any again, but those three bites were worth something.

But I worry and fret. The people who make the sleep sacks have shut down and nobody else that I can find so far, makes to order for big children like her. She will not sleep without a sleep sack. And because she pees through, every morning is wash day for her pyjamas and sleep sack.

My daughter doesn’t worry about that. She just has a cute sister she loves. Simple.

Second little thing is Uber. We finished our first part of medical aid savings in February already. R54 000 gone! So we’ve been paying the monthly medical aid premiums but also paying cash for all medicine, not merely the OTC ones the children need. This is the stuff that makes me think I’ll never be able to live separately even if they discover he’s hiding even more than the monies given to the ho and spent on his holidays.

So, when my son forwarded me an email I had also received from the university , I was impressed. They have partnered with Uber to give the students at their university 4% discount on Uber fares and free UberEats delivery. Not that he needs the latter as he’s home anyway. But still, going to and from campus is now a bit cheaper when he needs Uber. Which is something a friend of mine has been stressing about with me, given there’s no public transport from the suburb the campus is in. And that is my second little thing that I will be thankful for.

ETA – And a funny one that happened after I posted. The one fruit my non speaker has often, is banana. She will even eat three in one sitting with the fourth being taken away before she can eat it.🤯I wanted to order Celebration doughnuts and snacks (To celebrate our talkative twin aged six finishing Kindergarten in six months and now entering USA Grade 1, and a belated one for our 11 years partially entering grade 2) and decided to check if we still had bananas. We only had these few that I took out the box. I went to the Pick n Pay app to order, and we had free bananas already in the cart! Now that is a big little thing worth noting!