I Am Not a Christian

I am not a Christian, according to the one fit to judge..according to the sugar daddy of an employed wife whose divorce he caused and helped draw up agreements for.

This very wise and very faithful man who clearly knows Christianity more than I do, has told me I’m not a Christian, he doesn’t know me, I’m not the woman he married. (A line I had used on him when I asked why he doesn’t live when he sued to preach when I fell in love with him.) And you know why? I’ll tell you why, because he told me why.

Firstly, I do not argue with my youths about their conclusions about the wrongs done at church. Their father used to preach against irreverence and dancing in church. They would go to church in the recent years when I became too sick to go, come back and tell me how there was dancing and the female music leader would castigate people for NOT getting up and dancing.

I am not a Christian, because I actually BELIEVED irreverence is wrong. He just PREACHED it but didn’t actually mean what he said. Because what other conclusion can one draw from his telling me that my saying, “Yes, that wasn’t good at all! And why try force people to go against their principles!? It’s not like David danced in the sanctuary so why should they expect you to dance in it and insist on it? What happened to free will?”

I am not a Christian because I didn’t tell my children that they MUST ignore the irreverence and disobedience. Our church founder is very specific about holiness, honouring God, conduct in God’s holy sanctuary. But he didn’t marry a woman who apparently CARED what the founder of his church said. And so he had to cheat.

Yeah, make that make sense. Except, I was even stricter than he was when we were planning our wedding! Our founder taught that true mental and physical health come from a healthy, varied plant based diet. I wanted no meat at all at our wedding. Nobody will die from not eating a dead animal for ONE meal. Alas, he said only we -wedding party -should be vegetarian. And I should allow my mother to buy meat for everyone else.

Yeah, somehow he forgot that I always tried to live by the principles of church I got baptised into! Interesting! He missed my red flags too, apparently! I don’t know why he got baptised if he doesn’t actually agree with the tenets that created us.🤔

The other example of my not being a Christian that he gave me, is that my living by the scripture above, and others like Eph 5:11 that tells us to have no fellowship with the workers of darkness aka evil but rather to expose them, is not Christian.

Yes, you read that correctly. By obeying the Bible and wanting to be intentional about who I allow not in my space alone but specifically in my children’s space, I am not a Christian. Apparently, a true Christian disobeys the Bible. I am apparently meant to want to be with the older cousin who told me I was wrong to adopt and that God was punishing me for adopting when He gave me twins.

Yep, he was “hurt,” he said, that I wasn’t sad and rushing to her bedside when she was dying. Her bedside in a whole other province far away. He was hurt not because she hates his children and his wife, but that the hated one didn’t go expose herself to even more hatred. Apparently, my avoiding more pain makes me “bitter.”

Also, my lack of interest in hanging out with ‘get rich by illegal methods’ sibling of his is not Christian. A sibling who like him, is a preacher wolf in sheep’s clothing. A sibling who was attending sex parties while married besides also being sugar daddy to married women, even buying one of the many, formula for her baby. I don’t know if the baby was her husband’s or the sibling’s. A sibling who divorced his first wife after he drove her insane by his gaslighting and being inappropriate with females even at church in front of her. A sibling who borrowed thousands from said first ex wife, and then called her a “fat, ugly pig” when she begged for it back after waiting and waiting. (No, I don’t know why she lent it to him. Maybe she was still not sane and thought her money would win him back?) A sibling who was still a preacher man while being unfaithful to his second wife who divorced him.

It was wrong of me to not want him in my space. It was not wrong of his sibling to do all the above and more.

He clearly missed the red flags in me. I never kept criminals or cruel people as friends. I don’t have anything to do with my own criminal blood sibling. My friendships were with kind hearted, sincere people even back then before he married me! The Bible asks, “Can two walk together except they be agreed?” Nope. But clearly he’s in agreement with everything I’ve listed, and many more I won’t list. Because he definitely walks with them, sits with them and he takes their counsel and loses us half a million rand by joining in with the “get rich by committing crime and give lots of money as capital to fund this illegal activity.”

And that, my friends, is one of the reasons he gave me for chasing after Mrs Nontsikelelo Radebe. Because of the above that prove that I’m not a Christian and deserve to be cheated on.

The mental gymnastics are astounding.