Don’t I know it?

Hey y’all! I went to the feedback session for my 11 year old daughter. And as psychologist said, “…Just like you knew, she is autistic. She’s at level 2-3.” (Level 1 needs less external support. The people who used to be referred to as high functioning. The ‘lowest level is 3.)

I recorded something on gaslighting so I won’t type much about it suffice to say, the psychiatrist who never observed her, spoke to her for even 1 minute, told me she’s not. And I didn’t believe her.

The rest of the meeting was about the traits she noticed when she observed her for an hour, the DISCO questions and then recommendations. She is if the “less is more”’school of thought, which works well with my nonexisting budget for all the extras. She said at some point we will probably add in psychologist for emotional support. Suggested children’s supervised OT social groups-I’ve looked for that for two years and found none. She only knows of one in a suburb way too far away.

The other formal recognition was the usual. “If mom isn’t well, the children can’t be well” line. I need therapy myself, I need someone to help watch the children while being therapeutic-she suggested training which she said is very expensive, for people to become trained facilitators for children IN the home. Now, each session cost R1752.00 and I had three and a half session billed at full price. And that’s not expensive to her. I shudder to think whatthose costs are.

“You’ve taken too much on yourself.”

Only because if I don’t do it. Nobody else will. Even when I cry out for help and support, nobody in the family steps in like I ask. Simple things like giving our non speaker syringes of her post hospital her meds till they’re all done so I can focus on the other children. Not forgetting there’s the other medication for all of them that I’m also working with. But I’ll get a “No..I forgot” when I ask if it’s been administered.

School work. Therapeutic work. Extra resources. Parenting. Cooking. Sorting laundry. Folding. Putting away. Teaching. Making. Medication…I have “taken on” so much that I forget my own medication, sometimes for days.

But, there is no other choice.

So, we keep pressing on.

I now have five officially diagnosed autistic children. This must be some kind of a record in Cape Town.