Healing

Part of PTSD therapy -well, the part I learnt when I was studying- is to have the client recount the traumatic event over and over again (Not in the same session) until it eventually no longer brings about the same strength of emotion that the event usually does when thought about or spoken about.

I got into an Uber recently, and after greeting the driver, asked him, “Tell me..where do you never enter? Are there any areas you do not enter?” He said, “Yes…You can try guess….” Of course, knowing crime is more rampant the higher the level of poverty, I asked, “Gugulethu? Khayelitsha..?” He said, “The first one. That one… I don’t go there.”

I probed, “Is there a specific reason? Or you just know there’s more danger there?”

Of course the answer then came… He had answered a call for a ride into Gugulethu, coming from Parklands where he was already waiting. He took the male passenger into the area. As he was arriving close to the stop, a request came. “Gugulethu to Parklands.” And he thought, “Ok! I don’t have to wait around, and can go back where I came from. Let me pick this one.”

Bad choice. Turned out the one who was making the request was colluding with the passenger he already had. They both showed their true colours as he parked the car to let the passenger out, and demanded his money. He handed everything over as fast as he could, knowing that money or cellphone are not worth fighting for and losing your life over.

Except these Xhosa guys didn’t care. They still attacked him even though he’d surrendered fully. “But I’m not fighting. Why are you trying to kill me? Take it! Take everything.” They beat him so badly they dented his skull and he thought he was going to die.🥹💔His wounds needed him to be hospitalised.

For months after that, he was too scared to even drive at all. The car itself felt unsafe and dangerous and he couldn’t get back in. And just hearing the name Gugulethu would have him shivering. He would be unable to continue recounting his attack and become overwhelmed by emotion-tears, fear and anguish pouring out of him again. With me was the first day he was able to hear the word Gugulethu and recount the awful attack without breaking down.

I was glad he could show me the scars without breaking down. It is risky not knowing if where someone is with their healing but also knowing you are called to try make everyone’s life a bit better. He feels like they made his forehead look ugly, and the marks he sees in the mirror every day are a permanent sign of his trauma and suffering.

But, we could end the trip with him being thankful he survived. And for that gratitude, we can be thankful. The devil did not win that day. Another day to do good with his life.

And that’s it. My blog post for today. The encounter that showed a traumatized man that he is slowly healing. Fear and trauma, pain and shock have no more power over him.

Let it be so!